Building a Firm Foundation by Deonna Tan-Chi and Joy Tan-Chi Mendoza at PHC 2016

Our good friend and sister in faith, Sis Lucy, raised her three sons in a Christian home. Yet she experienced heartache when one of her sons rebelled. Despite this trial, she continued to have faith in our Lord’s beautiful promise as written in Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it”. Indeed, God’s faithfulness cannot be questioned as her son returned to the Lord a couple of years ago. Their story is a testament of the importance of a good and firm foundation in our child’s life.

How to build a firm foundation for our children - this is the very timely topic that amazing mother and daughter team, Deonna Tan-Chi and Joy Tan-Chi Mendoza, discussed as keynote speakers at the Philippine Homeschool Conference last October 22. One of the many advantages of homeschooling is parents can intentionally impart the values and belief system they have to their children. The lessons I have learned from their inspiring talk is the topic of the second part of my blog post series about my experience at the recently concluded Philippine Homeschool Conference.

Building a Firm Foundation

by Deonna Tan-Chi and Joy Tan-Chi Mendoza

There are two kinds of foundation as the Bible tells us in Matthew 7: 24-27. The first one is likened to a house built on a rock while the second one is similar to a house built on sand. When a storm came, the wind and flood toppled down the second house but the first one remains standing firm.

Sadly, the foundation I had is not as strong as I wished they had been. I had spent years rebelling against the Lord. Thankfully, He touched my heart and I accepted His free offer of redemption. I would like a different path for my little Queen B. Of course, I know nothing I do will make her perfect and sinless but by laying the foundation given to us by Jesus now I am giving her the tools she will need to make the right choices in the future and not spend years wasting her life into senseless pursuits.

There are 3 steps parents must do when laying the foundation according to Deonna and Joy. These are:

1. Model – We are our children’s first role model so before we preach something to our children, we must make sure that we, ourselves, practice it. We want our little Queen B to grow up loving God with all her mind, heart, and soul. We can’t expect her to do this if we ourselves do not love our Lord with all our mind, heart, and soul. Every single day, we must demonstrate this great love we have for our Lord.

2. Teach – It is not only enough that we model our values; we should also explain it to our children. As soon as they can understand it, parents should share the Gospel to their children. A Children Bible and other books can be used to do this. We can also encourage our children to attend Sunday school if your church has one.

3. Train – Provide lots of opportunities for our children to practice what they have learned until it becomes a habit. J and I are training our little Queen B to say please whenever she is asking for something.  Even though it can be time consuming, we wait for her to say please before giving in. Most of the times we still have to remind her but every now and then she says please without any prompting.

In building a firm foundation, our children must have obedience and respect towards their parents. As early as possible, we should instill to them the importance of obeying and respecting us, their parents. Of course, every now and then our children will still disobey and this is where discipline comes in. Deonna and Joy discussed to us the difference between discipline and punishment.

Discipline	Punishment
Train for correction and maturity	Penalizing an offense
Future correct deeds	Past misdeeds
Love and concern	Attitude of hostility and frustration by parent
Security	Fear and guilt

Punishment is payback for the sin or mistake a person made but discipline is appropriate consequence of his actions. Discipline is focused on future acts. It is borne out of a parent’s love and concern towards his child. It offers security and not fear and guilt in the child.

I must admit that there have been many instances that I have lost my cool towards my little Queen B. Thankfully, most of the time I was able to exercise self-control. I leave her in a safe and secure area and then I take a few minutes to compose myself and pray for guidance. Only when I can face her with love will I go back to her. Of course, once in a while my anger and frustration is so much that I spanked her hand. When this occurs, I immediately hug her and say sorry. Patience and love towards Georgina are always in my prayers and even in my prayer requests during our Growth Group meetings in church.

In Luke 2:52, the Bible says “And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom, stature, and in favor with God and man”. The mother and daughter duo believed that this verse tells us the 4 Key Areas we should concentrate on when building a firm foundation.

1. Wisdom – We should ensure that our children know and understands God’s words and works as illustrated in the Bible. With this in mind, J and I have started to have a devotion of daily reading the Bible and understanding it. A regular attendance in our Growth Group and other discipleship activities are also of importance for us as how can we teach our little Queen B the Bible when we ourselves are unfamiliar with it.

2. Stature – Stature here refers to the physical condition of our body. Our physical body that can do wonders is a gift from God and, therefore, should be treated with care and respect. Admittedly, J and I are not physically active individuals. We also like to eat a lot which resulted in our weightiness. We are now, albeit slowly, taking steps to remedy this. Again, we have to be a good role model to our child.

3. Favor with God – Our children must make God the center of their life. They should live to please and glorify Him. Our interaction with God should not only be on Sundays when attending church service. It should extend in every aspect of our lives.

4. Favor with Man – We should train our children to practice the Golden Rule as stated in Matthew 7:12.

Building a firm foundation in our child is a herculanean task. We can’t do it alone. We need the power of the Holy Spirit and we should repetitively pray for it. Also, we should pray that our children as well as we will finish well.

Deonna Tan-Chi is a Bible teacher, discipler of women, and counselor. She is one of the pioneers of the Homeschool Movement here in the Philippines. She had homeschooled all her children including Joy. Joy Tan-Chi Mendoza, a mother of five, also homeschools her children. She is also an author and a blogger. Her blog Teach with Joy is full of lessons and insights she have gained in the course of her own homeschooling journey. Listening to these two beautiful women was truly a wonderful experience.

#xoxo