Of Fathers and Daddies

Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that’s why I call you dad, because you are special to me. You taught me the game and you taught me how to play it right.

– Wade Boggs

My Papa was a traditional Filipino father. He equated being a good father to being a good provider. Well, he was a good provider. He worked at least 9 hours a day, five days a week. We are not rich but all our basic needs were taken cared of. There was always food on the table. My siblings and I mostly attended private schools. Our summers were spent in fun and educational classes. Even after his death he still continues to provide for us though the monthly pension we receive from the company he worked for.

Yet even early on, I felt that something was missing from our relationship with our Papa. Once he got home from work, he will have his meals in front of the television and stayed there for hours until he fell asleep. We usually just have meals together during weekends. Once in a while though he cooks for us and his Pork Sinigang sa Calamansi had been a favourite dish of mine and my siblings. We don’t have play times together. He rarely talks to us. We only have one on one conversation with him when he already had too much alcohol. When he was drunk, each of us was required to sit in his lap for a few minutes and talk to him. I remember counting the seconds till I can squirm away from him.

My Papa is not the worst father in the world. In his own ways, I know he loved us. I have never met my grandfather since he already passed away when my mother and father got married so I don’t have any idea of my dad’s relationship with his own dad. Maybe, my grandfather was also a traditional Filipino father and my Papa just followed his example. Despite of this, I am thankful to my dad. I may have my disagreements with him especially during my angsty teenage years but I believe that I grew up to be a daughter he can be proud of.

Blessedly, J is cut from a different cloth. While still pregnant, I already know he will be the kind of father every sons and daughters could ask for. He is with me on every visit to my OB except on one appointment when he was required to have a weekend shift at work. J almost cried when he first heard our baby’s heartbeat (He did not cry because the doctor told us he will cry too if J cries which made us laugh instead). He had committed to his memory all the things we learned from our childbirth class (He can explain the difference between dilation and effacement and he even know the breathing exercises way better than me). Also, he kept worrying about his capability to be a good parent. This led me to realize that this guy beside me is ready for fatherhood. He does not want to be just a father; he wants to be a daddy to our baby. 

My excited hubby. He only let us take a picture of him alone with the baby shoes at the end of my DIY maternity photo shoot. 

When our little Queen B was born, J had to solely take care of her since I had a caesarean delivery. For her first eight hours of life, J brought our baby to me so I can breastfeed her. He had to position her correctly on top of me so she can latch because I still can’t move due to the anaesthesia injected earlier. It is his first time to hold a newborn. He had several godsons and he never holds them until they are at least three months old. Yet J bravely holds our fragile tiny baby so she can get my precious colostrum and then later on he will burp her, holding her in the burping position for 30 minutes as prescribed by the pediatrician. Within that first eight hours also, our Georgina excreted her first poop. J panicked when he saw the black meconium but with the help of my mom, he was able to clean our baby’s diaper area successfully!

While waiting for our baby's first check up a week after her birth.

The first three weeks of our baby had been very difficult and tiring for me. My nipples were so sore that I dreaded my baby’s feeding time. I also was unable to sleep much because she had to feed at least every 2 to 2.5 hours. I am also constantly hungry. J had made those first three weeks bearable for me. He always brought home food for my midnight snack (Burgers, fried chicken, spaghetti, siopao, sushi…Almost all the food I miss eating since my OB put me on a strict diet three weeks prior to my due date). When he got home from work, even if he is tired and sleepy, he will spend hours holding our baby and rocking her to sleep (I use that time to eat and nap). J also never resented the times I had to wake him up in the middle of the night to help me take care of our baby. Up to today, he is never too tired for her. He will spend an hour or so playing with her before sleeping.

Daddy J carefully cleaning baby G. 

When J is around, it is also his job to do diaper changes. He is actually better than me at this task. An added bonus is that J also does our baby’s laundry (I just never learned how to operate that fully automatic washing machine). The other day, he even sew Georgina’s dress so it will fit her better. He is definitely a hands on dad. 

Babywearing is for daddies also! 

J is also very concerned about our little Queen B’s future. We wish we can give her a trust fund like her namesakes but that is beyond our ability. We will invest in stocks for her instead. We promised not to spend her monetary gifts as this will start up her investment. This would make a wonderful graduation gift in the future. J had also read an article about teaching money to children and with my consent; he already had chosen the way he will teach money matters to our baby. He wants our child to grow up knowing the value of money and how to use it properly.

Play time with Daddy!

Yesterday, our Georgina Blair turned five months. I maybe her primary care giver and she still always turn to me when she needs comfort but I know one day will come when she will turn to her daddy instead of me. I know that some day her daddy will become her favourite person in the world. Of course, I will be jealous when that time comes but I know I will be reasonable about it. Her daddy is also my favourite person in the world. I love him with all my heart and soul. He is not perfect but he never tires of doing his best in his every endeavour. He is God’s gift to me and our baby. Our perfect Father provided Georgina and I not only a good provider but a great daddy who will guide our family according to His word.

Daddy J and the future daddy's girl!

I was unable to finish this post in time for Father’s day because of our busyness last weekend but it is not only on Father’s Day we should be grateful to our fathers. We should be appreciative of them every day. To my Papa, thank you for being the best dad you know how. I’m sorry for being a rebel teenager. I also want you to know that I love you. For my husband, thank you for being a wonderful husband and an amazing daddy to our little Queen B! May God bless you with good health and wisdom to lead our family. Georgina Blair and I love you so much!

#xoxo

P.S. I am still looking for a photo of my Papa. I will include it in this post as soon as I can.