Why is it Okay to be a Stay-at-Home Mom?

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love. 

                                                                                                              - Mildred B. Vermont

I am now a stay at home mom or SAHM. I’m going to be honest; it was not really my decision. Yes, while pregnant J and I had already contemplated the idea of me staying at home to take care of our little Queen B full time. It is a plan that appeals to us very much because it is very difficult nowadays to find a reliable, trustworthy care taker of a baby. Aside from that, we wanted our baby to grow up with certain values, attitude, and behaviour that will be quite difficult to achieve if we let someone other than the two of us take care of her. But financial stability made me rethink that scenario.

J’s salary is sufficient actually. We can still pay off our housing loan and car loan. We can still send money to J’s family in Negros as our contribution in his dad’s medication. We can still support our needs and even extend that support to my mom, sister, and my niece who now live with us. Well, we actually live at my mom’s house. When my siblings who stay with my mom left home to live elsewhere, J and I decided to go back and have our own house rented. My mom’s house is more spacious than ours. I am also pregnant at that time and J wanted someone with me at nights while he is at work just in case of emergencies. It is supposed to be just my mom but due to some unfortunate circumstances my sister and her daughter have to stay with us also.

I still haven’t completely made up my mind about staying at home or going back to work when I gave birth to our darling baby. For a month, I set aside that idea as I am still adjusting to my new role as a mom. On the second month of my maternity leave, I started thinking about it more seriously.

Georgina and I do not have health insurance except for my Philhealth (J has health insurance courtesy of the company he works for).If ever we got sick and hospitalized, we have to shoulder all the expenses with only a small deduction because of my Philhealth. Also, I thought about the previous year J and I had. We were very blessed financially. We were able to start saving for our retirement and at the same time save up for my delivery. We were able to buy the baby things we wanted however pricey it may be and still have our weekly dates of dining out in a restaurant of our choice. It is also quite easy for me to plan staycations or vacations because of our combined salaries. Frankly, I don’t want to lose that lifestyle so I decided that I will go back to work.

During an impromptu staycation at Azumi Boutique Hotel in Alabang.

I gave birth on the third week of January and my maternity leave is good for two months which means it will end on the third week of March. Since that is already the end of the semester and summer vacation will start shortly, I was only required to finish the computation of my students’ grades and continue on with my vacation. I will have four months with my baby which I thought was a blessing already. Most working moms just have two months with their babies before going back to work. In preparation for the start of classes on June, I started building my stash of breast milk. J and I also begun our hunt for our baby’s care taker while we are at work as I can no longer impose my mom to take care of my baby.

The fourth of May is our wedding anniversary. Weeks ahead, I had bought vouchers for a lunch buffet and an overnight stay in a hotel. We had already confirmed our reservations when I received a message that I need to pass some documents to the office on May 4. I had no choice but to stop by at the office because failure to do so will result in the holding of my salary. After passing the documents, I was given the letter of termination of my contract.

There was no reason stated on the letter but like a colleague I think it is because of the so-called misalignment of my undergraduate degree and masteral degree. I am a graduate of Bachelor of Science Chemistry for Teachers and my masteral degree is Master of Arts in Science Education major in Chemistry. According to them, I should have a Master of Science in Chemistry instead.

Upon reading that letter, I admit I am disappointed. That is not MY plan. Sadly, I went back to the fast food restaurant where I left J and our baby while I attended my business at the university. Since I had stayed at the university longer than I planned, my little Queen B is already crying because it is way past her feeding time. As I feed her and tell J about the letter, I realized God’s handiwork in my life. He has a different game plan for me.

Despite the not so good news we received, J and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. 

I believe He does not want me to continue working as a college Chemistry instructor. He does not want me to spend hours away from home. I usually have 24 hours of classes distributed on four days but due to the distance of my home and my workplace I spend 40 hours or more away weekly. Even when I got home, I still have some jobs to do like checking my students’ papers, preparing my lessons, and others. That will also take time away from me and my little Queen B. I believe that is not the path our Lord wants me to take. HIS plan is for me to take care of my baby full time. 

As for J, I heard nothing but support, encouragement, and assurance from my husband. He had told me several times since that day not to worry too much about our finances. As our sole provider now, he will do better at his job to ensure that all our basic needs and even some of our wants will be met. Of course, we have to do some changes on the way we spend. We are already off to a good start as I breastfeed meaning no thousands of money to be spend on formula milk. We also do cloth diapering which also help us save. We had chosen to have our baby vaccinated at our local health center. It may not have the convenience of going to a private clinic but we are saving a lot as vaccines cost a fortune nowadays.

It takes me hours to complete a post. The reason why:  my little Queen B. I can only write during her afternoon naps and after she had settled for the night. Sometimes, I can sneak in a paragraph or so when she is busy playing with her toy. But most of my day is spent taking care of her or playing with her. As many parents have told me, this stage of her life is so fleeting and I must enjoy it as much as I can. My precious baby makes being a stay-at-home mom a wonderful thing.

She is only five months old and yet I have already witnessed a lot of developments and transformations from our Georgina. At two months, her upper body strength is already comparable to a four month old. At three months, her babbling kept us entertained for hours. At four months, she can stand while being supported for a few minutes. She can already crawl across short distances and she giggles like there is no tomorrow when playing peek-a-boo. I believe that her advance development is due to my constant presence in her life.

The video above was taken a few days after she turned one month. 

At five months, she can almost sit by herself.

I am excited for what the next days, weeks, and months got in store for us. I am thrilled to see my baby hits milestone after milestone. I can’t wait to feed her first ever solid food. I’m sure I will be over the moon when she takes her first steps. We may not afford to go to our dream destinations now. We may not be able to do shopping sprees anytime we want. We may have to do a lot of tweaking in our monthly budget but I am sure that God will provide for our needs. Just last year, I was willing to give up a lot so we can have a baby so a little change of lifestyle will not put me down. So thank you God for this wonderful opportunity.

Watching my little Queen B sleeps with a smile on her face is priceless!

#xoxo