Childhood is Not a Race

“Mommy, Mommy” my little Queen B said, holding up a piece of her Alphabet peg puzzle. Once I said what letter she is holding, she’ll look for its position in the board and place it there. She will then look up at me with a triumphant smile in her face.

Admittedly, like many parents, I would like my little Queen B to be ahead of her contemporaries - the first to roll over, the first to sit, the first to stand and walk among others. Well, compared to her cousins and other babies of her age that we know of, she was indeed ahead when it comes to those physical feats. I was so proud of our baby and attributed her being first to my own skills and knowledge. But then God humbled me when George took her sweet time in saying her first word and in talking despite my efforts in that aspect of hers.

A person has different aspects and each aspect develops at its own rate which depends on various factors like genetics, environment, and motivation. As an education graduate, I am fully aware of that fact. But it was still quite hard to accept that your child is the one lagging behind especially in a skill that I thought she will excel in as I make it a point to always talk and read to her. Honestly, I was quite envious of other parents who were showcasing their babies’ talking skills in social media. Blessedly, it was around that time that I attended the Learning Basket’s The Early Years: Homeschooling 2 to 6 Year Olds seminar/workshop. During her talk, Miss Mariel, our instructor/facilitator, mentioned this uplifting quote by famous early childhood educator Magda Gerber:

I realized then that my little Queen B is learning at her own pace and it so happened that her interests led her to concentrate more on her motor skills. She adores her cousin Aki and likes following her around and doing the same things her Ate Aki is doing so naturally George needs the skills required for it. Come to think of it, it was actually Aki who really taught our little Queen B how to walk and even climb up and down the stairs. Up to this day, my little Queen B’s gross motor skills are excellent for her age and stature.

Our little rock climber.

I am accustomed to competition. As a child, I grew up being constantly compared to a neighbour of the same age. All throughout elementary and highschool, it was inculcated on us that to be considered successful one has to be the first, the best. So changing my perspective is a struggle. It is something I have to consciously correct and pray earnestly for. Thankfully with God’s guidance and grace, slowly I have learned to appreciate more the things my little Queen B can do and think less of the things she still can’t do. I have learned to not hurry things up for her, to not put pressure on her to perform, and to not stress myself over the pace of her learning and development.

Childhood is a precious period of time. Various studies have shown that especially the first five years of life is vital to one’s mental, physical, social, and emotional development. As parents, it is our responsibility to provide them the love, affection, attention, encouragement, mental, and physical stimulation they need to maximize their full potential. But we also have to recognize and respect their individuality. They need to know and feel that they are loved no matter what.

Right now, my little Queen B is still not a proficient speaker. Her coherent spoken words are still not as numerous as others’. But I recognized now that it does not mean she is lagging behind in language skills. Every day, her vocabulary expands. Also, she is a good listener (which is equally, if not more, important for effective communication). She can follow instructions quite well. She loves books and can actually sit down long enough for me to finish reading one (assuming it is a favorite like Good Night Moon).

When we bought the Alphabet peg puzzle last December, Georgina tinkered with it for a while but shortly lost interest in it so I put it in storage. But since she had already successfully and repeatedly finished a couple of smaller peg puzzles (which contain 4 pieces), I thought of giving her the challenge of a bigger one thus I brought out the Alphabet peg puzzle (with its 26 pieces) and made a silent promise to myself to not be disappointed if she still can’t finish it. My little Queen B completely surprised me when she took to the task of matching the letters with such enthusiasm and finished it with only a little help from me.

I am still intentional in totschooling my little Queen B. I am in a constant lookout for activities she can enjoy. After our Letter of the Week Series (George still doesn’t recognize a single letter and I am in no hurry to teach her), we are now doing Color of the Week (if asked, everything is color blue for my little Queen B). These series are just my guides in thinking of activities for her. I also give her a lot of free time to make up her own activity which resulted in a lot of pretend play. Her imagination is astonishing for me. But most important of all, I am intentional in building up her character and training her to become a disciple of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

 Enjoying her green sensory tub.

 Throwing trash in its proper place - an important life skill. 

Another important lesson I have learned and will teach Georgina is to be genuinely happy of others’ accomplishments. Whenever I feel that twinge of envy when someone posts a photo or video of their child’s accomplishments, I put myself in the position of the parent. I try to feel their happiness at that captured moment. Maybe some of them want to brag but I choose to believe that they are just so happy that they want to share that happiness to others so I hit that like button.

The pressure to be the first or the best will always be there but I don’t want my little Queen B to feel it from us, her parents. Indeed, childhood is not a race. It is a journey; our child’s journey to self-discovery as a unique being lovingly made by the Heavenly Father.

#xoxo