The Gift of a Christ-centered Marriage

In less than 24 hours, my husband J will arrive home after his month-long stint in India as a trainer. My little Queen B and I miss him so much. This is the first time he had been away from us that long. His absence made me realized how blessed I am to have not only a husband but a partner and a helpmate in raising a family. 

For one whole month, I have to do all the household chores. I also have to take care of George full-time, though I'm very thankful to have my sister and niece every now and then to help me take care of my daughter. But if before, I can take the weekend off from washing my little Queen's dirty bum, for 4 weekends I still have to do it. Every time I'm tired but still have to get up to attend to George's needs, I realized how much I depend on J. J is a very hands-on dad. He does not shy away from parenting duties. And even though he is the one who works for our daily needs, he will still gladly help me with household chores. We do talk everyday via FaceTime but talking face to face is still different.  Also, the joy of new experiences is somehow diminished by his absence. So I'm really grateful to God for my husband and the gift of a Christ-centered marriage. 

My parents had a tumultuous marriage. Most of their 16 years of married life, cut short by my Papa's demise due to heart attack, were spent separated from each other.  Because of their differing beliefs and opinions, and lack of humility and patience with each other, they constantly fight which led to my Mama packing away her things and leaving our home, sometimes with us in tow. Sadly, most of my aunts too from my mother's side have an eerily similar experiences. If I could pinpoint one thing that went wrong, it is their choice of a husband. They have married guys who don't really share their religious and other fundamental beliefs. 

To be honest, I did the same. When J and I got married, we have different religions and I have made it clear from the start that I am not interested into converting into a different one, even though I don't practice my religion. I made a promise, though, that I will attend one church service from his religion after we got married. He also made a promise that he will not pressure me into another one. So I went into that service with a firm decision not to be swayed from my previous religious beliefs. 

But God's power is indeed so great and astonishing and I am very grateful for it. I did not immediately accept Jesus Christ as my Savior but God made a crack in my closed heart to see His mercy and grace. Week after week then, I joined J in attending church every Sunday until one day, I blurted out that I want to convert. 

I would not say that from then on, I became a dutiful, submissive Christian wife because that is so far from the truth. I know that for the rest of my life, I will struggle with becoming one. I have to continuously let the Holy Spirit break my heart and will into submission and humility. I have to ceaselessly let my old, heart-hardened, stubborn, and disobedient-self die so I can put on my new identity with Christ - a woman, a wife who accepts Jesus Christ's Lordship in every aspect of her life. 

Sometimes, I can't help but wonder what if my parents have a Christian marriage. What if instead of letting pride control their decisions, they know how to humble themselves and be willing to change for the better? What if they let God guide them into working out the problems they faced? How different my and siblings' childhood must have been! 

I'm not saying only Christian marriages will work out. There are a lot of marriages that stay strong even if only of them is a believer and I'm sure there are marriages of both unbelievers that lasted till death made them part. Also, it is not an assurance that a marriage will be successful if both of you are Christians but I believe it has a greater probability, a greater chance of lasting long and true. 

When both husband and wife intentionally pursue an intimate fellowship with God, they let Him guide their actions, words, and reactions. When they continually reflect on what Christ has done at the cross, they will always be reminded that Jesus Christ died so we can be forgiven of our sins and as recipients of this underserved mercy and grace, they should also extend their mercy and grace to their better half. Simply put, when husband and wife grow closer to God, they also grow closer together making their marriage strong and unbreakable. 

J and I have still a long way to go. We will still encounter various problems ahead. We will still lose our temper with each other. But I believe that with God at the center of our marriage and strengthening us, our desire will be to glorify Him through our marriage. We can be kind and patient with one another. We can be humble and lift each other up. We can ask forgiveness and forgive. We can endure any hardships of life. We can continue to love each other as Christ had loved us. 

Our time apart also made us adamant that one of us working abroad is not an option. We know a lot of couples who despite having a long distance relationship made their marriage work but we also know a lot more couples whose marriage crumbled partly because of their distance. Our financial status may not be as stable as those who have worked abroad but we would rather adjust our lifestyle than to spend our marriage apart and see our child (or children, maybe) growing without both her parents to guide her every step of her life. 

J's month-long absence also left me in awe of all the single parents out there who both work and raise his or her family at the same time. Their strength, determination, patience,  and endurance are truly inspiring. It is my prayer that our Almighty God continues to strengthen and bless them. 

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of a Christ-centered marriage. Please, continue to guide me and J to grow closer together as we grow closer to you. Help us be intentional in our pursuit of an intimate fellowship with You. Fill us with the Holy Spirit when we forget our mission to glorify you through our marriage and parenthood. May we continue to love each other, in response to your deep love for us. Amen. 

Yours, 

Lady