Choosing Contentment
Since the beginning of this year, J and I are already thinking of having our kitchen renovated. Sadly, J's father several hospitalizations early this year caused our plans to be postponed as we helped in the payment of the hospital bill. We are actually still paying the loan we availed to help pay off the hospital bill.
For his upcoming 13th month pay, we have already decided some time ago to use it for our kitchen renovation. This means we won't be going to Negros to visit his family anytime soon. Yet, a couple of days ago J's father requested for him to visit (he is currently in the hospital again) and J is thinking of going there during the Thanksgiving holiday when he will be forced to take a vacation leave from work. Of course, I immediately know that we have to use our supposed to be "kitchen renovation budget" for it. I am so disappointed at having our plan most probably to be postponed again that I lash out at him. I told him I wanted no part in the planning of that trip. This led us to fight.
As I browsed for books at Booksale to calm my mind and emotions after our disagreement, I realized why I am so disappointed with this sudden turn of events. I realized that I am discontent. I have always dreamed of having a nice, well-designed kitchen. My Pinterest account is full of pins of kitchen designs that I would like to have in my home. Also, I'm envious of my friends who are having their dream spaces built while our kitchen sink has not been working properly since Christmas of last year. I am so excited to have a new kitchen, even though not yet the one I really dreamed of but at least a portion of it, that I failed to be compassionate.
J's father has been in and out of the hospital again since last month due to his chronic kidney disease. Our last visit to them was December of last year and our intentionality in keeping in contact with them, I admit, needs a lot of improvement. In all fairness to me, whenever J felt his mother and his sisters are insinuating that he is not giving enough I am their champion. I remind J that they have front-row seats to his father's pain and suffering. They are also tired, stressed out, and afraid. But at that moment, I failed. I failed to be compassionate to the need of J's parents to see their only son. I failed to respond positively to J's desire to be with his family. I failed to trust God that He will provide. I failed to do all of that because of my desire for a new kitchen. I forgot one of the traits I just passionately talked about a little more than a week ago. I failed to choose Contentment.
In 2 Kings 4: 11-17, the Shunammite Woman chose to be content.
One day he came there, and he turned into the chamber and rested there. And he said to Gehazi his servant, "Call this Shunammite." When he had called her, she stood before him. And he said to him, "Say now to her, 'See, you have taken all this trouble for us; what is to be done for you? Would you have a word spoken on your behalf to the king or to the commander of the army?'" She answered, "I dwell among my people." And he said, "What then is to be done for her?" Gehazi answered, "Well, she has no son, and her husband is old." He said, "Call her." And when he had called her, she stood in the doorway. And he said, "At this season, about this time next year, you shall embrace a son." And she said, "No, my lord, O man of God; do not lie to your servant." But the woman conceived, and she bore a son about that time the following spring, as Elisha had said to her. (ESV)
For his upcoming 13th month pay, we have already decided some time ago to use it for our kitchen renovation. This means we won't be going to Negros to visit his family anytime soon. Yet, a couple of days ago J's father requested for him to visit (he is currently in the hospital again) and J is thinking of going there during the Thanksgiving holiday when he will be forced to take a vacation leave from work. Of course, I immediately know that we have to use our supposed to be "kitchen renovation budget" for it. I am so disappointed at having our plan most probably to be postponed again that I lash out at him. I told him I wanted no part in the planning of that trip. This led us to fight.
As I browsed for books at Booksale to calm my mind and emotions after our disagreement, I realized why I am so disappointed with this sudden turn of events. I realized that I am discontent. I have always dreamed of having a nice, well-designed kitchen. My Pinterest account is full of pins of kitchen designs that I would like to have in my home. Also, I'm envious of my friends who are having their dream spaces built while our kitchen sink has not been working properly since Christmas of last year. I am so excited to have a new kitchen, even though not yet the one I really dreamed of but at least a portion of it, that I failed to be compassionate.
J's father has been in and out of the hospital again since last month due to his chronic kidney disease. Our last visit to them was December of last year and our intentionality in keeping in contact with them, I admit, needs a lot of improvement. In all fairness to me, whenever J felt his mother and his sisters are insinuating that he is not giving enough I am their champion. I remind J that they have front-row seats to his father's pain and suffering. They are also tired, stressed out, and afraid. But at that moment, I failed. I failed to be compassionate to the need of J's parents to see their only son. I failed to respond positively to J's desire to be with his family. I failed to trust God that He will provide. I failed to do all of that because of my desire for a new kitchen. I forgot one of the traits I just passionately talked about a little more than a week ago. I failed to choose Contentment.
In 2 Kings 4: 11-17, the Shunammite Woman chose to be content.
One day he came there, and he turned into the chamber and rested there. And he said to Gehazi his servant, "Call this Shunammite." When he had called her, she stood before him. And he said to him, "Say now to her, 'See, you have taken all this trouble for us; what is to be done for you? Would you have a word spoken on your behalf to the king or to the commander of the army?'" She answered, "I dwell among my people." And he said, "What then is to be done for her?" Gehazi answered, "Well, she has no son, and her husband is old." He said, "Call her." And when he had called her, she stood in the doorway. And he said, "At this season, about this time next year, you shall embrace a son." And she said, "No, my lord, O man of God; do not lie to your servant." But the woman conceived, and she bore a son about that time the following spring, as Elisha had said to her. (ESV)
Contentment – is a state of happiness, satisfaction, and ease of mind.
In the passage, we can see that Elisha wanted to repay the woman’s kindness to him so he asked her what she wants. He told her he can speak on her behalf to the king or the commander of the army. At this point, the woman could have asked for any favors that can increase her family’s fortunes but she didn’t. She simply said that she is happy with what she had at that moment. She chose to be content.
As we all know our world suffers from discontentment and we, Christians, are not exempted from it. It seems we can never have enough. I do believe there is nothing wrong with acquiring things or working hard to improve our conditions. The wrong comes from what drives us to acquire those things or our motivation and what are we willing to do or not do just to get those things. In my case, I let my desire for a new kitchen overrule my obedience to God's command to be compassionate and give to those in need. I let my discontentment affect my relationship with my husband; even his family.
1 Timothy 6: 6-10 say
1 Timothy 6: 6-10 say
But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. (ESV)
All of us will face situations where we will feel discontentment in our lives. Simply browsing through our social media accounts may lead us to discontentment when we perceive that our friends are having better lives than ours. So what should we do to not fall into that trap?
Instead of complaining and feeling sorry for ourselves, we should keep our focus on the good things God has blessed us with. This is the secret of a happy and content heart.
Philippians 4:6 reminds us
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (ESV)
There are many ways to train our hearts to focus on the good things God has blessed us with. Let me cite 3 examples of simple things we can do to live a life of gratitude and contentment.
1. Keep a gratitude journal or jar. In a notebook or a piece of paper, write about something we are thankful for. It does not have to be big things. It can be as simple as I'm thankful for the sunny weather as drying up my newly washed clothes will go faster. At the end of the month or year, you can review your gratitude journal.
2. Remember the bad. I have been through worse situations in my life before and I was able to get through all of those. Back then, I don't have Jesus in my life the way I have him now. If I can get through those years, how much more now that I have God as my refuge and fortress?
3. Share your blessings. Being able to bless others with what God has blessed us with will remind us of His faithfulness in providing for our needs.
I must admit though that sometimes sharing or giving can be hard. This is not the first time that J and I have to postpone or cancel altogether a certain plan to help out with his father's hospital bills. We canceled our Christian wedding last 2013 for it. Up to now, we are still paying up the debts incurred during that bout of hospitalizations. This is aside from the loan we got this year. The "world" is telling me that I have given enough. I have been generous enough. It's okay not to deny myself now. But isn't denying myself what Jesus said is the cost of following him.
In Luke 9: 23,
And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (ESV)
I must admit though that sometimes sharing or giving can be hard. This is not the first time that J and I have to postpone or cancel altogether a certain plan to help out with his father's hospital bills. We canceled our Christian wedding last 2013 for it. Up to now, we are still paying up the debts incurred during that bout of hospitalizations. This is aside from the loan we got this year. The "world" is telling me that I have given enough. I have been generous enough. It's okay not to deny myself now. But isn't denying myself what Jesus said is the cost of following him.
In Luke 9: 23,
And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (ESV)
Our lesson about Upward Stewardship in our Life and Legacy discipleship group is helping me overcome this struggle. It says "Give till it hurts; keep giving until it hurts no more. Sacrificial giving is an exercise of robust faith.... generous giving is done out of a heart that is secure in the love and provision of God. The overarching principle is that we need to trust that God is our provider and that we cannot out-give God." Yes, I have been generous but I will never be able to match our Lord's generosity. My giving should be my reciprocal response to His generosity.
Matthew 6:33 says
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (ESV)
In the case of the Shunammite woman, because of her kindness, compassion, and contentment, God blessed her the innermost desire of her heart – a child of her own.
Maybe I'll have my dream kitchen one day or maybe not. A beautiful kitchen will not make the meals I prepare tastier. Maybe J and I will have our Christian wedding ceremony someday or maybe not. Our marriage is still and as legal and right in the eyes of man and God.
I, and we should keep in mind what the apostle Paul, in Philippians 4:11, said,
"I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." (ESV)
And if we find it hard to choose contentment, the apostle Paul continued in Philippians 4:13:
"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." (ESV)
Yours,
Lady
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