Repaying a Gift

"The best gifts come from the heart, not the store." - Sarah Dessen 
This image is from www.yourhamper.com.

Looking back and comparing it to others, my breastfeeding journey is relatively easy. One might say my story is ordinary or common. Majority of breastfeeding moms had gone through the same thing. Nipple soreness, engorgement, lack of sleep, and leakage – these are common difficulties mothers who choose to breastfeed undergo. But after a few weeks, usually three, these problems resolve themselves. I did not even have to seek advice from a lactation consultant. Since I am a stay at home mom I also don’t worry if I’m pumping and bringing home enough milk for my little one. Nowadays, nursing Georgina is an instant reason to lie down as she feeds more efficiently when in the side lying position. A few days from now, I will be breastfeeding my little Queen B for seven months without an instance that I need or even want to mix feed or stop completely. I consider this small achievement as a gift from above.

A month into breastfeeding, I know I wanted to repay this wonderful and amazing gift somehow. Of course, I know I can’t really repay God. There is nothing I can do that can ever equal what He had done and gave to me. So how could I share this blessing to others?

The answer came to me when I saw this photo in my Facebook newsfeed.

I can actually share my blessing to others by donating breast milk to newborns confined in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) of the Philippine General Hospital (PGH). These babies are either ill or premature. A mom who gave birth prematurely may experience delay in her milk coming in while a mother with a baby too unwell to breastfeed and is probably worried sick may not be able to express enough milk thus the need for donated milk. Of course, formula milk can be given but breast milk is more than food. It contains antibodies that help fight off infections that these ill or premature babies badly need. Formula milk companies can never replicate this component.

So I decided that one day I will donate my milk. I started expressing and storing milk as early as 5 weeks postpartum. Back then, less than 10 minutes with my electric breast pump will generate 4 oz or more of milk especially if done early in the morning. I was able to have a decent stash of breast milk in no time.

Since I am still of the mind that I will be going back to work then, I trained my little Queen B to take milk using a bottle. It is another blessing that she took it like a champ. No nipple confusion. She can easily transition from direct feeding to bottle feeding and back. Some of my expressed milk goes to her daily supply of milk in the bottle.

By the time my maternity leave ended, I have to spend a few days at work to finish my students’ grades and also attend a seminar. During those days I was unable to pump every 2 to 3 hours to simulate my little Queen B’s feeding schedule. My output is less than what my Georgina drinks in one whole day we are separated. Soon, my stash dwindles.

When the decision to be a stay-at-home mom finalized, expressing milk is no longer a priority. It is easier to direct feed. I no longer need to wash and sterilize my pump and storage bottles. My supply had also stabilized completely that engorgement and leakage rarely happens. Since I did not put a deadline on my plan to donate milk I thought I’ll just postpone it.

Back in July, I decided that I will donate milk as a way of celebrating my being able to exclusively breastfeed Georgina for six months as recommended by the World Health Organization. Since I had been direct feeding for a while, 4 oz of milk is now harder to produce. Before 4 oz of milk can be expressed a few minutes from one breast but now 4 oz is equal to two sessions with my pump. My little Queen B requires constant attention as she is crawling already so two sessions sometimes only one is all I can fit into my schedule. (I had started blogging as well which takes up time too.) My plan of donating milk by Georgina’s six month birthday got scraped off.

I was inspired to build a stash again last August 1 at the Hakab Na event which I attended as told here. One of the sponsors of the event is the online nursing wear seller NursingMommiesPh.  The mom behind this thriving business is also a frequent breast milk donor of PGH’s NICU. At the Hakab Na event, she collected some milk from other breastfeeding mom attendees and donated them later on to the PGH-NICU Lactation Unit and Milk Bank. I am unaware of this plan of hers so I did not bring my measly but hard earned stash of milk.  Nonetheless, I am now more determined than ever to have my dream of donating milk come into reality. I even set a deadline. I will donate my milk on August 24.

Well, some things just don’t go as planned. I will not be able to donate my milk on August 24 because I had already donated it to another baby. Last week I saw this post at my Facebook newsfeed.

South PiNanays is a Facebook group of moms residing in South Luzon.

Upon reading the request, I commented that I’m willing to share my stash. My little Queen B, despite not having a perfect latch at first, was able to regain her birth weight immediately. From 2.8-kg at birth she weighed 3.1-kg two weeks after being born.

Last Friday, they picked up my milk. It is not much. It is still difficult to build a bigger stash with Georgina crawling all over the place now. I only got ten bags with at least 4 oz of milk.

Dear milk, Please make that baby well. 

 I still haven’t received an update about the baby and his/her mom but I really hope that they are doing well now. I hope that the drip drop method helped mommy and baby correct their latching problems. It is my prayer that even though they started off roughly, their breastfeeding journey will now be smooth sailing and joyous.

As for me, I’m still not giving up on my dream to donate milk at PGH’s NICU. I even want to buy more milk bags for it as I only have a few left. My Georgina is thriving so well and I know my blessing of having abundance in milk is a reason for it. So even if I can only generate 1 milk bag a day and mostly only on weekdays, I will continue to express and store my milk.

Let me end this post with this verse from the Bible. Indeed, breast milk is the perfect food for babies!

                    “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above.” – James 1 :17 

 #xoxo