Love is Patient
"Love is patient." - 1 Corinthians 13:4
One would have thought that my 11 years in the teaching profession have made me into a very patient person. I actually thought so, too. Before becoming a mom, I'm confident that I can easily handle the sleepless nights, the tantrums, the mess, and other inconveniences. But less than three weeks after giving birth, I experienced my first breakdown as I left my little Queen B crying on the bed while I cried myself because of my frustrations in not being able to get her back to sleep. Fast forward to three years after that event, I discovered that I still have a lot to learn about being patient.
Patience is commonly defined as the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, and even suffering without getting angry or upset. Being patient means staying calm when things don't go as planned.
When I was planning this mini-blog post series about the way of love as based on 1 Corinthians 13, this article about "love is patient" was supposed to be finished and then published on February 7. But that week, instead of writing about patience and how to be patient, my own patience has been tested and I hate to admit this, I failed. That week, J's work schedule changed; from having the night shift he now has the day shift. There are many advantages to this change but that change also wreaks havoc on my carefully planned schedule.
As a mom of a very curious and active three-year-old, my day is mostly composed of watching over her, running after her, playing with her, taking care of her and cleaning up after her. Don't get me wrong. I love being a stay-at-home mom, of being beside her during these crucial formative years, but it can be tiring and draining so I really treasure my quiet me-time.
This period of rest and recharging happens while my little Queen B takes her afternoon nap. I used this one hour, or if I'm lucky two, sometimes even 3 hours of quiet time to do my Bible reading, my devotionals, my bullet journaling, and my writing. Those periods keep me sane and sustained for the rest of our day. But due to the changes in our daily routine last week, instead of being asleep by 2 pm, she fell asleep at almost 4 pm and there was even a day she did not take a nap. By the time she's asleep I'm already so irritated that I can no longer concentrate and gather my thoughts. And by bedtime, I'm already a bundle of nerves who constantly snap at every little thing my little Queen B does.
So here is someone I have an unbreakable bond with, someone who is so much a part of me and yet I can't love her enough to be patient with her as she also adjusts to the change in our daily routine. Instead of understanding and empathizing with her, I was more concerned with the inconveniences I have experienced. That was definitely not how Jesus would have responded.
Thankfully, the Lord rebuke me when I saw this quote on Pinterest.
While doing my One Year Bible Reading Plan last year, one of the things that really stood out to me is God's patience and faithfulness to the Israelites. The Old Testament depicted to us that despite God's covenant with them and continuous blessing to the Israelites, they kept rebelling against Him. Psalm 78:41 says, "They tested God again and again and provoked the Holy One of Israel." But God, being slow to anger and abounding in mercy, gave them numerous chances to repent and turn back to Him.
I have also rebelled against God countless of times. There are many instances in my life that I deliberately chose not to follow God's commands even though I am fully aware that what I'm doing is wrong in His eyes. And yet He remained patient with me. He gently showed me the errors of my ways until I repent and then provide opportunities and people to correct my path.
In 2 Peter 3:9, the apostle Peter explained this uncanny patience, "The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance."
The patience of the Father is also the patience of the Son. Jesus has continuously exhibited patience with his disciples. In John 14:7, Jesus said, "If you had known me, you would have known my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him." But just after he uttered those words, Philip asked him to show them the Father.
One of the things that irritate teachers all over the world is when students ask about the directions just after the teacher mentioned it. I, myself, have snapped at those students for their inattention. But not the greatest teacher who has ever lived, Jesus Christ answered Philip with compassion and patience when he said, "Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father."
According to 1 Corinthians 13: 4, "Love is patient." And since we are called to love others as Jesus loves us, one way we can show love to others is by being patient with them. But how can we be patient in a world of instant gratification?
Here are five practical ways we can learn patience. To become patient, one must constantly practice it until it becomes a habit and an integral part of oneself.
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| This infographic is from www.simplystepping.com. |
The Get Real step had tremendously helped me manage my impatience with my little Queen B last week. I realized that my expectations of how last week should unfold were unrealistic. I was expecting George to behave the same by following our usual routine despite the obvious the changes in our schedule. I realized I can't control her reaction but instead should have given her leeway to also adjust.
Blessedly, she is still of that age that she can still easily forgive and forget my misgivings towards her. An embrace, a kiss, soft words can still easily soothe her. Our bedtime routine of reading aloud led me to Model Patience with her. It terribly helped that we were reading books related to parent and child relationships like Love You Forever, Yummiest Love, and Where the Wild Things Are.
And then I was able to Replace Impatience by empathizing with her. Breakfast for me and my little Queen B was usually composed of a piece or two of bread plus milk for her and coffee for me. It's a light one but with J now joining us for breakfast and to accommodate his late break time at work, our breakfast meals had become more substantial. Due to this, she wasn't that hungry when we had our lunch at our usual time. The usually 1 hour lunch time became 2 hours which in turn caused her to nap later than usual time.
Lastly, I'm thankful for the Support I have received last week - from my brother who offered to babysit George for a couple of hours while I exercise (another great way to release tension) to fellow moms who can relate and also to J who did his best to help as much as he can with household chores before going to work.
Also, I decided not to pressure myself into writing this post. The Lord had impressed upon me that I should first practice patience before I can write about it. Now that we have gotten over that ordeal, my thoughts are now flowing much freely. George even napped for 3 hours yesterday!
As children of God, we are called to be patient not only with our family and loved ones but with everyone we encounter. Like when are waiting in line for something, instead of getting impatient with the pace of the transaction why not use that time to read the Word of God or pray. When we have to deal with difficult people, heated arguments can be greatly avoided by empathizing, maybe they are going through something hard in their life. As I have experienced, kindness and compassion work much better than impatience.
Jackson Kiddard said, "Anything that annoys you is for teaching you patience." This is so true. When I prayed for patience, though He can God didn't miraculously gave me patience, instead, He gave me situations that will make me practice my patience.
Let Proverbs 14:29 reminds us the virtue of patience, "Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly." (NIV)
By being patient with our loved ones, with others, and even with ourselves, we are practicing godly wisdom and love. I know this is not the end of my journey in learning patience. All of us will constantly face situations and people who will test this character but as disciples of Christ, we are His ambassadors in this world and it is our privilege and duty to represent Christ and all that He stands for. Jesus is patient, so must we be.
Yours,
Lady
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